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For the past three years, I have been working in the field of people and development. My job requires me to interact with people often and encourage them to become the best version of themselves based on their potential and abilities.
However, I often struggle to build close and strong relationships with my clients. I feel that I need to put in a lot of effort to reach a level of connection where they feel comfortable opening up to me.
These challenges make me feel frustrated, and I often blame myself for my weaknesses. I compare myself to my colleagues, who can easily build emotional bonds with their clients. This makes me question whether I have chosen the right career—do I lack the ability to build meaningful relationships, or have I just not found the right way to do it? As a result, I feel lost about who I am and why I chose this career in the first place.
So, what is the connection between understanding yourself and building meaningful relationships with others?
The Importance of Self-Understanding in Building Relationships
Knowing and understanding yourself is the first step in forming positive relationships with others. Why? Because self-awareness allows people to interact honestly and sincerely. It is also the key to building healthy and meaningful relationships. Without self-awareness, relationships are often filled with conflict, dissatisfaction, and the risk of becoming toxic.
People who do not understand themselves tend to struggle to express what they truly want in a relationship—emotionally, physically, or intellectually. As a result, assertive communication does not happen. A lack of self-awareness can also lead to excessive dependence on validation from others. Additionally, people who do not know themselves well often have trouble managing their emotions because they do not understand their needs or how to express their feelings properly. Lastly, one of the biggest problems caused by not knowing yourself is the lack of healthy boundaries in relationships.
To build positive relationships with others, we must first understand ourselves deeply. A healthy relationship starts with individuals who can accept and understand themselves. Here are some benefits of knowing yourself before building meaningful relationships with others:
- Increasing Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is important because it helps us recognize who we are, what we feel, and what influences our thoughts and actions. This understanding shapes the person we become. To improve self-awareness, we can practice self-reflection through journaling, meditation, or inner dialogue with ourselves.
- Practicing Self-Acceptance
Self-acceptance helps us recognize our strengths and weaknesses without judging ourselves. It also allows us to focus on what we can control and let go of what we cannot. To develop self-acceptance, we should focus on controllable things, let go of what is beyond our control, and appreciate our life journey—including understanding that mistakes are part of learning.
- Showing Self-Compassion
Self-compassion helps prevent excessive self-criticism, which can damage our ability to maintain healthy relationships. Practicing self-compassion can be done by taking breaks when needed, giving ourselves positive affirmations, and forgiving ourselves for past mistakes.
- Developing Self-Understanding
Self-understanding is an important part of self-awareness. When we understand our values, goals, and desires, we can make better life decisions and build relationships that align with who we are. To improve self-understanding, we should ask ourselves what makes us happy, what is important in life, and explore our interests and passions to discover our potential.
- Setting Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries help us maintain our well-being and keep relationships balanced. Setting boundaries allows us to stay true to our values and principles while forming relationships with others. To establish and maintain boundaries, we should identify our needs, recognize situations that make us uncomfortable, and learn to say “no” without feeling guilty.
Understanding yourself is the foundation of building healthy and meaningful relationships. By knowing your values, needs, and boundaries, you can create balanced, trusting, and respectful relationships. So, have you taken the time to reflect and truly understand yourself?
